Monday, February 28, 2011

Kung Fu

Colefax the Combat Kangaroo,
Was late for his class in Kung Fu;
He got stalled when his wrist, adhered to his fist, 
With super strength all-purpose glue.

Sunday, February 27, 2011


There’s a penguin who lives at the zoo,
Who wanted a bitchin’ tattoo;
So he took out some loans, got a skull and crossbones,
Then gave all the tourists a view.

Saturday, February 26, 2011


There’s a man who hung from two trees,
While he wore a beard full of bees;
He remained there for days, in the hot sunny rays,
Just hoping his nose wouldn’t sneeze.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


There’s a cow from good ole Calcutta,
Who had the most terrible stutter;
So she got a kazoo, to fix up her moo,
And now songs are all she can utter.

Monday, February 21, 2011


There’s a man who lived in great hope,
He’d find life with a big telescope;
and life’s just what he found, when his lens pointed down,
and focused on a used bar of soap.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Tire Pump

This limerick is dedicated to a fellow artist and friend  who recently passed. 
There’s a sumo who’s skinny and small,
His build made him too weak to brawl;
So he tried to get plump, with an old tire pump;
but just bounced all around like a ball.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Yoga Cat

There was once a lazy old Cat,
Who realized he’d gotten too fat;
So he stretched out his toes, in a downward dog pose,
And crumpled his poor Yoga mat.


There’s a mare who sat down and neighed,
On an egg she had recently laid;
Armed with a shotgun, She guards the hen run,
From intruders who wish to invade.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


There was a young man of Eastbourne,
Whose painting was tattered and torn;
So he fixed up his art, with a quiche lorraine tart,
That clever young man of Eastbourne.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Devilish Grins

There’s a pair of devilish grins,
On the faces of two sneaky twins;
The curtains are drawn, the cake is half gone, 
and there’s chocolate smeared over their chins.

Friday, February 11, 2011


If ever there's crime to fight,
Call the cop with the huge overbite;
In a high speed chase, she can lunge out and brace,
The rear end of a car real tight.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


The inventor Joseph McHale,
Cross bred a squirrel with a whale;
It had teeth that stuck out, a nut cracking spout,
And swam with a big bushy tail.