Friday, April 29, 2011

Hair



There's a pie baked by my aunt Claire,
That had cooled in the breeze of the air;
I swallowed a bite, it plugged my throat tight,
With a large furry ball of old hair.


Thursday, April 28, 2011

Viura Von Vundon

Viura Von Vundon is quite the catch,
Scouring the globe to find a match,
Someone handsome and fit, with exceptional wit
Who won’t mind that her kids have to hatch.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Strike


Every popular brand of bike, 
Went and held a general strike;
To protest any ride, up a steep mountain side,
That involves a strenuous hike.

Friday, April 22, 2011

A Cat Up A Tree

There's a cat that got stuck up a tree,
Who was forced to spend time with a flea;
Now this might sound perverse, but what made matters worse,
Is that cat was desperate to pee.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Toast

There was once a hungry old ghost,
Who wanted to brown-up some toast;
But because he was dead, he couldn't grab bread,
So he borrowed the arms of a host.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Video Games

There was once a Victorian Dame,
Who was lavished with praise and acclaim;
She spent 48 hours, Demonstrating her powers,
On a shoot 'em up video game.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Mole

There was once a flat Dover Sole,
Who admired the shape of a bowl;
So he swallowed a pearl, to get a round curl,
But sadly it looked like a mole.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Boot

There’s a fly who tried on a boot. 
'Cause he thought it would help his commute;
But that boot came complete, with big crushing feet,
Determined to go their own route.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Snake Camel

The inventor Demarco McHammel,
Cross bred a snake with a camel;
It would spit when it hissed, had two humps with a twist,
But is it reptile, or a mammal?


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Lush


There was once a tipsy old Cat,
Who enjoyed licking wine by the vat;
He was such a big lush, that his fur would go flush,
And he'd fall over drunk on his mat.


Dowse

The dapper old dandy named Clouse,
Felt like he could eat a whole house;
So he said ”Waiter please, a cottage with cheese,
and some hot sauce, but only a dowse.”


Friday, April 8, 2011

Alarms

The poultry from Hill Acre Farms,
Developed chemically enhanced arms;
They would count down from ten, then break from their pen,
And trip up the fire alarms.


Thursday, April 7, 2011

Gum

Gen DeRoo cried out a few squeals,
After something got stuck to her heels;
When she saw it was gum, she said mmmm, yum, yum,
And ate it as a snack between meals



Friday, April 1, 2011

Sail

There was once a silly old whale,
Who wanted to swim with a sail;
So he fixed up a pole, inside his blow hole,
And tried hard not to exhale